I was in sixth grade at Seattle Hill Elementary and was looking forward to our upcoming “Cowboy Day” where we wore boots, handkerchiefs, button-down shirts and braids. Any day that was out of the normal routine was fully anticipated with excitement. But as silly as it seems now, I remember as an 11 year old being bothered that it wasn’t called CowGIRL day. Looking back, I think it is ridiculous that this bothered me so much, but it did. Enough that I wrote about it in a journal I kept. A few of us got together and approached the principal about changing the name to “Western Day”, which she did. Somehow, I felt that made things right.
I have always considered myself a feminist. Maybe it is because I have three brothers and we are all very competitive. Maybe it is because I was involved in athletics and witnessed firsthand how girls were treated on the ball field or basketball court. In college, I seriously had a guy run right in front of me when the ball was hit directly to me and he yelled at me to move so he could field the ball. Then I watched him lob a pathetic throw. If there was one thing I was good at, it was throwing a softball. Hard. Maybe it is because every time we’ve sat down with an attorney, accountant, broker or businessman of any sort, they speak directly to Brandon as if I’m there for the ride. (If only they knew how little Brandon knows about where our money can even be found, let alone the amounts.) Or maybe it is because my personality is such that it simply begs for equality.
But there is a false perception of feminism. I do not wish to join a movement for women to take over the world and bring down men! I do not want to be a man or have the same responsibilities men have. I also worry that the liberation of women’s freedoms has created an entirely different mess. We are our worst enemy. The outward expectation of perfectionism in women is frightening to me. In many respects, our freedoms have created great bondage in many women.
I belong to a church that is predominantly governed by men. I know this bothers some women. It is funny to me that a cowboy dress day would get to me, but the fact that only men are able to hold the Priesthood in my church does not. Not one bit. The responsibilities placed on men are different than women. This doesn’t lessen my self-worth or standing before God. I am confident that He loves me just as much as He loves His sons. I have felt my own responsibilities equal to that of my husband's in assisting the Lord in His work. I am so grateful for wise, kind, faithful men who lead and guide my family and me through their best efforts. Unfortunately, there are always exceptions. But in the vast majority of its members and in my own experience, I believe LDS men have held women high on a pedestal. If they don't, they are not following the Savior and His example.
I am so grateful to be a woman; one who acknowledges that I am a daughter of a King. Women have a powerful influence for good in the LDS church and in the world. Many meetings, welfare efforts and huge undertakings in the LDS church simply would not be productive without women.
One of my all-time favorite LDS leaders, Gordon B. Hinckley, said this:
‘How thankful I am, how thankful we all must be, for the women in our lives. God bless them. May His great love distill upon them and crown them with luster and beauty, grace and faith. May His Spirit distill upon us as men and lead us ever to hold them in respect, in gratitude, giving encouragement, strength, nurture, and love, which is the very essence of the gospel of our Redeemer and Lord.”
Because I am a Mormon I know that “God is no respecter of persons” (Acts 10:34).
Even when it comes to gender.
Showing posts with label Relief Society. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relief Society. Show all posts
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Sunday, December 11, 2011
I'll always have a friend.
We were married 6 weeks before Brandon took off for the entire Spring for work! In a perfect world, I would have gone with him, but I was in the thick of my college courses and was trying to be responsible and finish my degree. So while he was basking in the sun (ha!) in Palm Springs and Kauai while filming a movie and then enjoying the sights of Wales while shooting a documentary, I was a student at BYU.
And I was alone.
Before we married, I lived with four other girls--some of my favorite people in the world! There was never a dull moment. There was never "alone" time. There was always something exciting going on and then suddenly, I found myself with a "married" social status and a "single" social life. I didn't have any married friends around me. It is challenging to fit in with other married couples when your significant other is gone for months at a time. A few times, I went back to the old apartment and hung out. Although I loved my friends, I realized I didn't fit in with the single scene. In my new ward (the congregation I was assigned to based on the location where we lived), each Sunday every pew had a couple sitting together. I sat by myself. I'm horrible at making new friends, and I just didn't. I've always been blessed with many friends--many different circles of friends! But I was terribly lonely and I found myself checking off the days on my calendar until my semester ended so I could join Brandon in Hawaii for a couple of weeks before my Spring term began.
Pathetic, I know.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has an organization for women called Relief Society. It was restored in the the mid-1800's by the Prophet Joseph Smith and today, it stands as the largest organization of women throughout the world. The purpose of the society is just as its title suggests: to help the poor in spirit and administer relief to those in need. When I turned 18, I was automatically inducted into this organization because I was a baptized member of the church. But when I was 18, this meant very little to me. I didn't ever think of "relieving" anyone's burdens and I certainly didn't recognize I was a member in the organization. Within this organization, there is a program called Visiting Teaching. A pair of women is assigned to visit a sister or two (or sometimes 3 or 4 depending on the needs of the area) and each month, a visit is arranged so that the women can assess needs and deliver a short message of encouragement and hope. If there is a need, service is rendered, meals are brought in, help is given. In short, an assignment is made to be a friend.
In this new married ward, I was first assigned to visit teach with a girl who recently moved to the U.S. She had joined our church, gotten married and left her entire family in Korea. Her new husband was in graduate school at BYU and she was trying to adjust to marriage, a new language and a new country. I could not understand a word she said. Here I was, desperately needing a friend, and they assigned me to someone I couldn't even communicate with? Month after month, she called and arranged the visits with the women we were supposed to visit. We took turns giving the short message. I struggled to understand her, but after time, I learned to appreciate her so much. I quickly realized how grateful I was for her! She was an amazing person with an incredible story. She loved me and always came and found me at church and linked her arm in mine. She made me little gifts that meant so much to me. She was my friend! Not necessarily one I would've sought out on my own, but exactly who I needed. One time during one of our visits, she brought her guitar along. She sang a song and I understood every word she sang. It was beautiful. I was taking a guitar class at the time and she helped me with some technique. I found myself better communicating with her and after awhile, I absolutely loved her. She was my only friend in that ward until my brother and his wife moved in. We only lived there for a couple of years and I have no idea where this woman lives and what her life is like now. I wish I could remember her last name so I could look her up.
Any time I have moved to a new area, my first friend is my visiting teaching partner. Shy people like me find it hard to make friends; it takes time. I'm just not the outgoing type and I'm okay with that. There are 12 million plus members of my church in this world and I know that no matter where I live, I will find a friend through visiting teaching. For some reason, it always seems to be the right person for me at the time.
Because I am a Mormon, I am a Visiting Teacher. Right now, I am assigned an amazing companion and three women who I love, pray for, learn from and look forward to visiting each month.
And I will always have a friend.
And I was alone.
Before we married, I lived with four other girls--some of my favorite people in the world! There was never a dull moment. There was never "alone" time. There was always something exciting going on and then suddenly, I found myself with a "married" social status and a "single" social life. I didn't have any married friends around me. It is challenging to fit in with other married couples when your significant other is gone for months at a time. A few times, I went back to the old apartment and hung out. Although I loved my friends, I realized I didn't fit in with the single scene. In my new ward (the congregation I was assigned to based on the location where we lived), each Sunday every pew had a couple sitting together. I sat by myself. I'm horrible at making new friends, and I just didn't. I've always been blessed with many friends--many different circles of friends! But I was terribly lonely and I found myself checking off the days on my calendar until my semester ended so I could join Brandon in Hawaii for a couple of weeks before my Spring term began.
Pathetic, I know.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has an organization for women called Relief Society. It was restored in the the mid-1800's by the Prophet Joseph Smith and today, it stands as the largest organization of women throughout the world. The purpose of the society is just as its title suggests: to help the poor in spirit and administer relief to those in need. When I turned 18, I was automatically inducted into this organization because I was a baptized member of the church. But when I was 18, this meant very little to me. I didn't ever think of "relieving" anyone's burdens and I certainly didn't recognize I was a member in the organization. Within this organization, there is a program called Visiting Teaching. A pair of women is assigned to visit a sister or two (or sometimes 3 or 4 depending on the needs of the area) and each month, a visit is arranged so that the women can assess needs and deliver a short message of encouragement and hope. If there is a need, service is rendered, meals are brought in, help is given. In short, an assignment is made to be a friend.
In this new married ward, I was first assigned to visit teach with a girl who recently moved to the U.S. She had joined our church, gotten married and left her entire family in Korea. Her new husband was in graduate school at BYU and she was trying to adjust to marriage, a new language and a new country. I could not understand a word she said. Here I was, desperately needing a friend, and they assigned me to someone I couldn't even communicate with? Month after month, she called and arranged the visits with the women we were supposed to visit. We took turns giving the short message. I struggled to understand her, but after time, I learned to appreciate her so much. I quickly realized how grateful I was for her! She was an amazing person with an incredible story. She loved me and always came and found me at church and linked her arm in mine. She made me little gifts that meant so much to me. She was my friend! Not necessarily one I would've sought out on my own, but exactly who I needed. One time during one of our visits, she brought her guitar along. She sang a song and I understood every word she sang. It was beautiful. I was taking a guitar class at the time and she helped me with some technique. I found myself better communicating with her and after awhile, I absolutely loved her. She was my only friend in that ward until my brother and his wife moved in. We only lived there for a couple of years and I have no idea where this woman lives and what her life is like now. I wish I could remember her last name so I could look her up.
Any time I have moved to a new area, my first friend is my visiting teaching partner. Shy people like me find it hard to make friends; it takes time. I'm just not the outgoing type and I'm okay with that. There are 12 million plus members of my church in this world and I know that no matter where I live, I will find a friend through visiting teaching. For some reason, it always seems to be the right person for me at the time.
Because I am a Mormon, I am a Visiting Teacher. Right now, I am assigned an amazing companion and three women who I love, pray for, learn from and look forward to visiting each month.
And I will always have a friend.
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