As a young girl I had a bright yellow apron with tiny strawberry buttons. Like most little girls, when my mom was baking and wearing her apron, I wanted to put on that yellow apron and bake, too.
The thing I remember most about this yellow apron is how it came to be mine.
I can't remember her face. And I can't remember a name. (And my mom's memory is poor, she probably can't even remember this happening.) But it was impressed upon my memory so much that it has influenced choices I make with my own children. But there was a lady who lived nearby our family. My mom used to visit this woman and she brought me along. On one of her visits, the lady told me she wanted to help make me an apron. I got to pick out the strawberry buttons. I must have been four years old.
At the time, I was too young to understand this woman and her circumstances. As an adult, I still don't know, but I have a very good feeling that this was a woman who was in need. She probably wasn't my mom's first choice of a friend; I remember my parents having a lot of other friends. I have little doubt that my mom was trying to make a difference in this person's life. I don't ever remember her coming to my house. I only remember visiting hers.
There are countless memories of tagging along while my mom went from house to house offering a helping hand, bringing meals, attending Tupperware parties to show support, and sharing her faith and talents with those who needed it. She didn't do this because she had extra time on her hands. She did this because she is a disciple of Jesus Christ and has made a promise to Him that she would bear another's burdens, mourn with those who mourn, and serve.
These types of memories don't fade. There is a lot I can't remember about my childhood, but these times seem to be stuck there. Maybe because I needed to know how impressionable service opportunities would be for my own kids. Because now as a parent, when an opportunity is there, I want my kids to be with me. I want them to see that happiness in this life doesn't come from "things" but from service.
In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, there are countless opportunities to serve. We are admonished to look for these opportunities and pray for them daily. Often times, when I pray for an opportunity to serve, I'm guided to one of my own children or even my husband and a need they have that day. Sometimes I have a feeling to call someone. And sometimes, it is to give a compliment or a smile. I have been given assignments at church that have taken as much of my time as a full-time job! There has never been a penny received in compensation! My husband worked a 14 hour day yesterday. Very normal for him. But after that long day, I got a phone call from him letting me know he was going to be late because he needed to go help someone move some furniture. There was no complaint, though I could hear in his voice it had been a long day. He came home with a smile on his face and was grateful he got off work just in time to help. My husband is also a disciple of Jesus Christ and has made a promise to bear another's burdens, mourn with those who mourn and serve.
Are members of my Church more kind than others? No. But members of my church have been taught, trained and admonished to serve their fellow men. From an early age, we participate in service projects, watch our parents care for the needs of others, we learn from scriptures how Christ served and we do our best to emulate Him. There is also the challenge from the Savior himself who admonished us to serve those who persecute us.
Just as little girls want to wear aprons and look just like their moms while baking, little children are learning from their parents example in how they live their lives. My mom didn't teach me to serve with words. That would have been very ineffective. She has taught me to serve by the way she lives her life. I hope to do the same for my kids. They live in a selfish, self-centered world. No wonder there is so much unhappiness. If I can teach them this one thing, their lives will have more meaning and they will find happiness.
Because I am a Mormon, I have dedicated my life to a life of service. For I believe that when I serve others, I am really serving my God.
Showing posts with label Mothers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mothers. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Far above the price of rubies...
The older I get, the more clearly I see the dichotomy between the world's message on being happy and my own happiness.
Do what feels best for you...look out for you first...go and fulfill all your dreams at whatever cost... don't let anything or anyone get in your way of reaching your full potential...you're young, have fun; responsibility can come later in life...in order to be important, you must make your mark in this world in a BIG way...loyalty means little if you aren't happy...beauty comes in a size 2 and DD...self-worth comes from having a successful career...peace is obtained on vacation in paradise or at the spa...a woman can and should do all that a man does...
I have a mom who never listened to the world's message on how to be happy.
Thank goodness.
She never puts herself first. She has always supported her husband in his endeavors and made it possible for him to provide for our family, even at great sacrifice. She can't manage to let her mind rest for one minute when it comes to making sure everyone around her is content and comfortable. Although she makes it a priority to take care of herself, her wardrobe and personal care is never outrageous. She is modest. Her life is full of small and simple acts of kindness that have a great impact. Her vacations consisted of small ratty towns while sitting on bleachers, cheering at my softball tournaments or my brothers' baseball tournaments and our annual trip to visit her mom here in Utah. Her career is being a mother. And now a grandmother.
I am so grateful I was raised by such a woman. I think how different I would be if she had followed those other messages and the influence it would have had on me.
And now I have two beautiful daughters who watch my every move. The way I act, dress, talk, and live directly affects my children. I am so aware that the way I live my life will impact them. They will see through any hypocrisy, dishonesty or double standard I set. I must teach by doing.
Being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done. No matter how I am doing, I always feel like I need to do better. I always feel a weight of responsibility on my shoulders for these three precious children who were given to us. I feel a constant sense of urgency to improve myself so that I can more effectively teach them. I am deliberately doing things in so many areas of my life with them in mind--all in hope that someday it will matter.
Proverbs 31:10-30 has helped me know what will make me happy as a woman and a mom:
"Who can find a virtous woman? for her price is far above rubies...the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her...she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life...she girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms...she stretched out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy...Strength and honour are her clothing...she openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness...Her children arise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her...Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised."
If every woman lived this way, imagine the world we would live in.
I can call my mother "blessed". Her life is a witness to me that happiness comes in virtue and in having our strength be in the Lord.
A couple years back I wrote in a personal journal my thoughts on being a mom. I finished with this sentence:
"My part in this world is ever so small, but to my children, it is everything."
Because I am a Mormon, I know my worth as a woman and mother is great. Women partner with God as we do His work in raising children and making this world better. This is where women will find strength and power. Sooner or later, we will bridge this dichotomy and happiness will be abundant in the lives of women throughout the world.
Do what feels best for you...look out for you first...go and fulfill all your dreams at whatever cost... don't let anything or anyone get in your way of reaching your full potential...you're young, have fun; responsibility can come later in life...in order to be important, you must make your mark in this world in a BIG way...loyalty means little if you aren't happy...beauty comes in a size 2 and DD...self-worth comes from having a successful career...peace is obtained on vacation in paradise or at the spa...a woman can and should do all that a man does...
I have a mom who never listened to the world's message on how to be happy.
Thank goodness.
She never puts herself first. She has always supported her husband in his endeavors and made it possible for him to provide for our family, even at great sacrifice. She can't manage to let her mind rest for one minute when it comes to making sure everyone around her is content and comfortable. Although she makes it a priority to take care of herself, her wardrobe and personal care is never outrageous. She is modest. Her life is full of small and simple acts of kindness that have a great impact. Her vacations consisted of small ratty towns while sitting on bleachers, cheering at my softball tournaments or my brothers' baseball tournaments and our annual trip to visit her mom here in Utah. Her career is being a mother. And now a grandmother.
I am so grateful I was raised by such a woman. I think how different I would be if she had followed those other messages and the influence it would have had on me.
And now I have two beautiful daughters who watch my every move. The way I act, dress, talk, and live directly affects my children. I am so aware that the way I live my life will impact them. They will see through any hypocrisy, dishonesty or double standard I set. I must teach by doing.
Being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done. No matter how I am doing, I always feel like I need to do better. I always feel a weight of responsibility on my shoulders for these three precious children who were given to us. I feel a constant sense of urgency to improve myself so that I can more effectively teach them. I am deliberately doing things in so many areas of my life with them in mind--all in hope that someday it will matter.
Proverbs 31:10-30 has helped me know what will make me happy as a woman and a mom:
"Who can find a virtous woman? for her price is far above rubies...the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her...she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life...she girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms...she stretched out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy...Strength and honour are her clothing...she openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness...Her children arise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her...Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised."
If every woman lived this way, imagine the world we would live in.
I can call my mother "blessed". Her life is a witness to me that happiness comes in virtue and in having our strength be in the Lord.
A couple years back I wrote in a personal journal my thoughts on being a mom. I finished with this sentence:
"My part in this world is ever so small, but to my children, it is everything."
Because I am a Mormon, I know my worth as a woman and mother is great. Women partner with God as we do His work in raising children and making this world better. This is where women will find strength and power. Sooner or later, we will bridge this dichotomy and happiness will be abundant in the lives of women throughout the world.
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